Most people have thought about the moment when others breathe their last and how we can face that final bow. However, nobody alive knows what it feels like to know and be sure that the curtains are falling on you.
If the people who die would give us their testimony, we would know what the end of life on earth looks like, but unfortunately, they go and never come back. They never get to share that dreaded experience. If they could share what happens when one is dying, we would know whether they see what ‘the other side’ looks like, whether heaven or hell stares at people the moment they cross over from earthly life.
Medics have numerous experiences with dying people. These experiences give us hints at what the end of life looks like for a human being. As scary as it sounds, as worrying as it is, social media users joke and say nobody is coming out of the earth alive, so one day, we will have to face that last moment.
Several nurses, doctors and medical professionals have shared the interactions and experiences they had with dying patients.
Godfrey from Zambia: Mine was, “Doctor, kindly tell my daughter to go out.” She then held my hand and said, “I am no longer in pain. I think the time has come. It is time to go.”
Yvonne: My patient waited for her relative to get out, then called me by her bedside, told me to bend so she could whisper something she wanted me to keep a secret and a deal, then she said, “Sister, can you keep a secret?” I replied, “Yes.” She proceeded, “Please, remove this thing so I can rest (she meant the oxygen mask). I am tired.” Wueeh! I was puzzled. I felt her pain, but I couldn’t grant her wish. She later did it by herself when no one was noticing, and she rested when I was away.
Annastacia: I was a student in the labour ward, and there was this woman who refused to be attended by the midwives. She wanted me and asked me to feed her okra. She ate she kept insisting that I should be by her side. That was my last day in the labour ward. After giving birth, I visited the ward the following day. She was happy to see me and told me, “These are your babies (twins). The same evening, she died. I’m still hurt, though her mother used to call me. I feel like I should keep checking on the twins.
Maame: I was serving her 10 p.m. medication, then she said to me, “You guys have done your best, but it’s time for me to go. She wasn’t that weak, so I told her not to say that again, but she kept saying, It’s time for me to. She asked me to call her husband, but her husband wasn’t around because it was late. She was insisting I call the husband because she had some sack with him that she would like to take something out of it. I asked her to take her medicine first, and I would try calling the husband. After giving her the medicine, she said a prayer in her language. She was a Muslim. She then got down from the bed, touched the floor with her forehead just like how they pray, and that was all. I tried calling her to get her up from the floor, but she wasn’t responding. I called for help so that we could assist her back to bed. That is when we realised she was gone. I insisted on resuscitation because I was in a denial stage, but nothing changed. She had been sick, but not that bad.
Sylvia Oradi: She handed over her husband to me and said, “Help him raise my boy.”
Manuel Rich: At his end stage after battling so hard to survive, in distress, he told me I should ask God to forgive him. He needed just 2 hours to put his house in order. His final words were, “Oh, I can’t make it anymore.”
Ansah Jamal: A wealthy man, was brought to the ER with severe asthma, and obviously couldn’t breathe well. We did all that we were supposed to do, but his airway wasn’t opening. I realised he made a symbol with his hands and started to chant, but that didn’t help him. He looked into my eyes in tears and said If there is anything that we can do to help him, we should do it. He will pay because he can’t die and leave the kids. They were too young. They lost their mother a few months ago. After a few minutes, he passed on. I then realised money or whatever you put your trust in can’t save you on a hospital bed.
Ngumbau Muthini: My mum; “I am tired. Put your hope in God, and never sell the cows that are in the homestead.” She left.
Dee: I’m not a nurse, but my friend’s mum, who is our neighbour, came to my dreams back then in a boarding (high school) where I schooled with her daughter (my friend). She said, “I’m going to heaven and will never leave Rosemary alone. During holidays, take her to your home. She was a single mama. I called home, and true to her word, my mum said she died two days ago and they were coming for Rosy to attend the burial. That’s how Rosy became my sister to date.
Adam: He told me to bend and whispered, “Young man, never marry a single mother and never ever trust a woman.” After that, he smiled. He was a rich man, but he felt sick abruptly. When I did the tests, we discovered he was poisoned. The man knew the truth.
Stella Berchie: “A patient told a nurse she wanted to breastfeed her baby for the last time.”
Vanessa Shikapwasha: My patient called me and asked when her family would visit her. I told her the visiting times. She then smiled and said, “Alright.” She asked for water and then told me to pray for her. We closed our eyes, and I prayed for her. I said “Amen”, and she was already gone. I felt sad. May her soul continue to rest well.
Maude: While on night duty, a patient called me to say that she was now going and that people in white were surrounding her bed and had come to take her home. She then advised me to tell one of the other patients to turn to God while there’s still time.
Taasham: “I can’t complain, I’ve received the best of your care, you fed me, gave me my drugs, assured me I’ll be okay even when I knew I was on my deathbed, but it’s time I took my leave. I need my rest. You need yours too, though I know more of my type will visit you soon. Please be nice to them just as you were to me. I’ll be watching you from heaven. Let me sleep now.” … and her eyes closed thereafter. CPR was done, but to no avail.
Mungu Juliet: She said, “I thought I had friends, but none showed up for me.”
Alf-Wyghed: He was angry about his uncle, who kept bothering him and his family about a piece of land. He asked me to tell his wife and children he will always love and protect them, and told me to tell his uncle never to set foot at his funeral. Tears dropped. He took a deep breath, and the EKG showed asystole. CPR wasn’t initiated cos he had a DNR signed!
Mel: She told me, “May God bless you for your kindness, but where I’m going, I’m not coming back, and I don’t know who’ll take care of my kids, please.”
From the experiences shared above, the dying moment may be full of regrets, peace, love, pain-free moments, uncertainty, unfinished business, acceptance, and family worries. At that point, people have less room to change anything in their lives except moving to ‘the other side’, a side where many don’t know what takes place.
It is only those who have gone to the other side who could tell the story, but unfortunately, it is beyond the human level. Biblical explanations may give a hint about that, but an account from someone you know is likely to bring a clear picture. Until that happens, the mysteries of the deathbed and life after death will be part of the end-of-life thoughts for many human beings.
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