Some online users have openly come out to share why they left the churches they were attending. It is a story that the world is yet to digest, but as time goes by, more experiences are coming out on why people leave the church.
David Hayward, a pastor, opened up on leaving the church and the flock he was leading.
He said nobody offended him, but he couldn’t live with the failure to have personal growth while taking care of the congregants.
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“There was no animosity. It was just time for me to leave because I didn’t have the freedom to grow there anymore, as I felt I needed to. So, I left. And I was the pastor! It was the perfect thing to do. Not everyone thinks so,” David stated.
David explained that it was devastating for him and his family to leave the church because they had invested in more than his ministry; they had many other connections and networks in the church, and that meant leaving an entire way of life.
“I have done it a few times. The last time I left the church was in March 2010. It was difficult. The church gave a family feel. Our whole lives were taken up by church activities and church people. We didn’t just leave church. We left our whole lives; your friends, your income (if you are in the ministry), your sense of meaning, relationships, support, activities during the weak and so much more,” the preacher added.
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The preacher said his church demanded 100% sovereignty over everything in one’s life. This made him think that being there wasn’t healthy.
“I have watched documentaries about cults. Many of them were in tears. They missed the community and the intimacy they experienced in these cults, and I thought that was what I was feeling, but I thought that was what I was feeling. They are missing a cult. I was cult-like in the intensity of intimacy.”
“That intensity of intimacy is going to come at a cost. You are going to lose objectivity, family and friends, possessions (man, the amount of money I gave, tithing and offerings), autonomy, you are going to be violated, abused and mistreated in many ways. That is an observation from my own life and from those who have spoken to me. When I lost that, I felt like there was nothing. I feel like I am starting afresh,” David analysed.
The preacher added that he was yet to understand why he wanted and enjoyed the kind of intimacy in his ministry and church communities.
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From a different perspective, Pastor Joshua Majakusi felt that people don’t leave the church because they hate God. For him, it starts with independent actions that gradually take them away from the church.
“Sometimes, life becomes heavy. Sometimes, people feel unseen. Sometimes, someone said something sharp like a knife, and they didn’t know how to heal. Sometimes they are offended by other church members, and sometimes, they simply lose rhythm.”
“The church isn’t a museum for perfect people; it’s a workshop for the ‘becoming’. We fall, we rise, we learn, we laugh, we cry, we grow. And yes… sometimes we disagree about where to sit or who finished the mandazi in the hospitality team, but still, we are a family,” Pastor Majakusi argued.
Apostle Peter Liberty believes some intelligent and educated people stop going to church because of the following:
- People are not leaving God; they are leaving manipulation.
- Intelligent minds don’t hate the church; they hate preaching that insults their intelligence.
- Any gospel that sounds like bribing God feels like spiritual extortion.
- When sermons become fundraising campaigns, thinkers switch off.
- A gospel obsessed with ‘give to get’ collapses before logical reasoning.
- People wonder why the Almighty God needs money to grant blessings.
- If unbelievers prosper without sowing “special seeds,” the message becomes suspicious.
- Fear-based preaching pushes mature minds away
- A church that sells solutions instead of teaching salvation becomes a marketplace.
- Intelligent people desire doctrine, not drama.
- A gospel that doesn’t align with scripture collapses under scrutiny.
- People can sense when they’re being spiritually manipulated.
- Christ-centred teaching attracts; money-centred teaching repels.
- The Holy Spirit convicts — not psychological pressure from the pulpit.
- A thinking believer wants transformation, not transactions.
- The church loses relevance when it stops teaching repentance and righteousness.
- Where sermons lack depth, people often seek the truth elsewhere.
- Faith should not feel like paying protection fees to a deity.
- The gospel must be about eternal life, not economic promises.
- Churches that refuse to return to Christ will empty themselves, not because people are rebellious, but because people are awakening.
Precious Makena Gracefavored opined: “The fact is that there are no perfect churches and perfect Pastors. The issues you run away from unresolved will meet you in your new church. If we must leave, it must not be because you told us to leave. Every man will give an account of himself on the judgment day. I counsel you to try and find peace with God and with those who you feel offended you. Please leave us to join our Pastor to build or rebuild our church that you have left. Please, you are free to come back anytime and meet us here to continue from where you stopped. We love you still, Jesus Christ loves you more.”
Pst Nick T Theura: “Yes, people hurt people, even in church, but leaving the church because of humans reveals immaturity, not higher spirituality. God never promised a perfect church; He commanded perseverance, love, forgiveness, and unity. You don’t honour God by abandoning His body because of its wounds.”
Nashon Nazareth Azenga: “Sometimes people don’t leave church because their time is over. They don’t leave the church because God is doing away with them. God will never do away with souls the way we do away with them. They don’t leave church because they are bad…we must stop calling them rebellious. They are anointed and genuinely called. Sometimes, leaving is protecting your heart and seeking healing and purpose outside the atmosphere of ministerial abuse.”
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Tim Brian: “I tell pastors, don’t beg members to stay. Go back to the drawing and improve the quality of your church. When the quality of your church is excellent all around, when members leave, they bring themselves back because what they encountered under you cannot be found anywhere else easily. People have spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and social needs. If any of these needs are not met in a church, the chances of members leaving are very high, no matter how hard you tie them to the church in prayer.”
Vincent KE: “I stopped going to church because the church no longer looked like a place of worship; it started feeling like a business centre. Every Sunday, sow this, give that, seed for breakthrough, seed for protection, seed for long life. I didn’t leave what I believe. I left the noise, manipulation, and hypocrisy. Too many pastors preach what they don’t practice. They shout, “Stop fornication,” but they’re privately doing counselling sessions at 11 p.m ‘chopping’ their female and male members. The judgment is too much. You can’t dress a certain way. You can’t ask questions. You can’t disagree. The moment you speak your mind, they say that you are rebellious. Fake prophecies everywhere, actresses and actors fainting up and down. Nothing uplifting; always putting fear in the minds of the believers.”
Chavis Steve: “The Church is important for our relationship with God to remain real in our lives.”
Stephanie J H Bryant: “This is the reason why I left the church. I’m a Jesus follower, not a church follower! Throughout the last 10 years, during a time that I need it a church, a Christian, or someone to act like Jesus, no one, and I repeat no one, from that community reached out to help! There are people on my page; if they see this, they will know I am referring to them, and maybe they should take a step back and see if they’re being true Christians.”
Capt. Klornak Vitashik: “I can relate. I always struggle with ‘church’ because it was boring, but living it out was not. As parents, we would drop our kids off to kids’ class every Sunday. Until we didn’t. We hiked on Sundays.”
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