A Nigerian social media user Uju Anya, has expressed her disappointment that she never imagined that “Do not rape your wife” would be a controversial statement. “I feel so heartbroken for women and girls in this world.”
Other users came out to express their views some saying that even religious leaders have not handled the discussion in a way that can be of help to those who silently suffer in marriages.
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A user by the name Your Mom expressed her disappointment saying, “Last week, I interviewed a Presbyterian minister in Calabar who said to me “how can you rape your wife?” I was disturbed. It’s shocking and so heartbreaking. Imagine what he tells his congregation about the matter.”
“It was only in the 1980s that states like California declared there was such a thing as spousal rape, that husband were not entitled to sex. The collective we still hasn’t caught on, probably because they don’t want to,” Donald Earl Collins said.
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Augustina suggested that the idea of buying a woman via ‘bride price’ needs to be stopped. Adding that it gives the men the mentality that he has paid to control and own the woman fully.
Uju explained that the idea of bride price is supposed to be compensation to the family for their investment in raising and educating a woman who will in turn give the husband material benefits. But, it also encourages the attitude that a man owns a woman like cattle, because he “paid” for her.
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“Many people in different cultures consider that a woman has waived the rights to her body by entering into a marriage covenant. Christianity also endorses the aspect that the body of the wife belongs to her husband and husband to the wife. I am not sure about Islam. But this topic is very slippery,” Masingita Banda explained.
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“If someone isn’t ready to be intimate with their partners, they should not get married. No need to expect faithfulness when you can’t comply. We need to be realistic sometimes. End game will be cheating, polygamy, HIV and Aids or divorce,” Jackie Waffs cited.
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