“I interact with old men a lot. Many were successful, a few troubled. Yet something in common with them is they don’t recall specific happy or sad moments. They only remember their responsibilities. What they had to do, what they did, and how it impacted their communities,” these were the words of T.R Okuna.
He explains that it is an exciting phenomenon wondering if the new, imposed prescriptions of happiness, mental health, and other neologisms on men truly elevate them.
He, however, alleged that obsession with sadness or happiness in men is a culmination of two things: absence of opportunities or lack of initiative. He added that people should be more worried about unemployment rates in men than in women.
“A man needs to be productive. His need to contribute is innate. It hounds him like a demon. Whether he is happy at it is inconsequential. He’ll scale a 50-floor skyscraper with only a rope around his waist. He didn’t ask himself, was I happy? All that counts is that he did it,” he mentioned.
He added that a man’s mental health is on his feet. It’s not in his brain or heart. He doesn’t need poems, lullabies, sympathy or seminars. He is as happy as his production. Saying interior office designs came with women; men worked in caves & could not have been happier.
“So don’t ask me if I am happy. Don’t inquire about my sadness either. Ask, “did you feed them?” Ask, “did you look after your mother and father when they were dying?”. Ask, “Did you build the house?”, or “Did you graduate?” For the man, happiness is not a feeling. It is an act,” he concluded.
”This sounds like getting caught up in capitalistic demands and patriarchal gendered expectations. Thus these are the only lenses through which one can examine their worth because how is the happiness of self a bad or negative thing? Don’t men deserve happiness?” Soshi questioned.
