Woman says She Never Imagined She Would be a Single Mother "Saying We Don’t Pick Men Well is a Very Fickle Statement"

No parent may wish to see their kids brought up by a single parent due to divorce or any other cause, but many have ended up with this type of parenthood due to limited options.

In some cases, the two may end up agreeing on putting the differences aside and come up with a way of co-parenting for the sake of the kids, but some end up permanently separating, placing the kid out of reach to the other parent.

Zamangwane Khanyile, a fashion blogger from South Africa, narrates her disappointment in being a single mum despite trying to push the dad to be in her daughter’s life.

“This Single moms topic is actually very triggering, when we planned to have Naledi, I never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be raising her alone. However, I have stopped trying to force him to see her because at some point, I just accepted that he has chosen to be an absentee father, and there’s literally nothing I can do to change that,” She wrote.

She explained that her desire to foster a relationship with him and his child rested in her heart because of how excited he was about her when she was pregnant. But then, she was born, and all the excitement changed, and at that point, he wanted nothing to do with his child.

Zamangwane Khanyile said her husband changed when their child was born. He never wanted anything to do with their child.
Photos: Rendy Novantino (Unsplash) and Zamangwane Khanyile (Twitter)

“The only time he sees her is when my mom begs him to see the child and only for 15 minutes in his car. Never takes her out, never sees her outside of those interactions. It’s a hurt but I have to heal from it because in our relationship I could have never predicted that he’d turn out this way,” the frustrated Khanyilesaid.

She further explained that she had the kid at 30 years old after waiting longer because she wanted to do it with the right person. Only when she was six months pregnant and after the baby was born the husband showed his true colours.

“What people forget is men can put up performances, coerce you into thinking that’s what he wants, a child or marriage, only for him to wake up one day and decide that is not what he wants. So choosing the “right” man to have a baby with is laughable. Truth is it’s a risk,” She said.

A mother and her child — Not all single mothers caused their status to be so. Some were victims of circumstances that left them alone on the journey of life.
Annie Spratt (Unsplash)

Zamangwane said that in her case, the narrative that single women are always wrong about the men they choose is stereotypical.

“I had a child at 30 and waited so long because I wanted to do it with the right person. Only when I was 6 months pregnant and after the baby was born did he show his true colours,” she explained.