Who is a Narcissist? – A Benjamin Bogonko Perspective

There have been many controversial conversations about narcissism and how they affect individuals, relationships, marriages, and workplaces. Many people strongly believe that a narcissist is not a good person for a relationship and will always be toxic to their lovers.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder affects men more than women, but this does not exclude women. That said, who are narcissistic persons?

Benjamin Bogonko, an inspirational speaker and a teacher, has shared 10 perspectives that will help you identify narcissists with full clarity:

1. He/she has two parts of his personality. The good and bad sides, but the good one is ‘good’ in a bad way. They will always blame you when there is anything to do with negative faults or behaviour, but take credit for all the good things around them and feel they are the best.
2. They are full of superiority and entitlement. Dealing with them is difficult, and they have to be taken like the best; they are the most right, competent, and intelligent. Everything must go their own way, and they want to control everyone.
3. They have an exaggerated need for attention and validation. They constantly want to be praised because they have a fragile ego. Despite being praised, it has never been enough because you will never make a narcissist happy.

   

4. They have a great need for manipulation and control. Even when one tries to reason with them, to have a logical understanding, they don’t want to understand because he wants to control everything.
5. They lack empathy. They have little ability to feel sorry about others and don’t understand anything about feelings. Sometimes they feel happy to see people suffer.
6. They perceive everything as a threat. Even when you joke with them, they don’t understand and believe you when you are joking or serious.
7. They lack boundaries and believe in their world. They are like a two-year-old child who believes that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same way they do, and they are always shocked when one says no.

   

8. They have poor emotional control of reasoning with people. If you think you understand how their bad behaviors affect you, share with them and even explain, it still doesn’t make sense to them.
9. They fear rejection and radicals for the rest of their lives. They live in fear, and because of that, they don’t want to be abandoned, making it difficult for them to connect with people. The closer you get to a narcissist, the less he/she will trust you.
10. They are deeply in reparation. They are hidden in a lot of shame and guilt; they have a lot of insecurities and fears.